Just to pass the time

I cry for hours

Like the windfall of unexpected melancholia

      I wonder why

When I was younger, I felt so small

Insignificant

Deemed necessary when seen as a means to an end

So when I feel small, yet I burst with such grandeur... 

I stumble upon an innermost complication

I just cry

For the one reason and then it becomes a montage of all the other moments that I had reasons

When I felt small

I cry so damn much and man, do I hate it sometimes

I don’t know why

It pours and pours and it’s difficult to come down from the hellish hills that I’ve built to shield me away

I don’t mind this space

Because I feel the most free in this vulnerable island of my own volition

I am present and I know release of it all shall come soon

When I return, I remember the last visit and it takes me back into the valleys and meadows that sheltered me from the travesty of it all

The depths that I’ve crushed my bones against as I writhe from this revival

A natural disaster

Once I come down from this island of hell hills, I return to shore

To set out to conquer layers of myself once more

I cry more than I should

I wonder if I cry for the pains I’ve faced lifetimes before

I carry memory of it all in my DNA

Shedding and growing within me like the elements that encase us all

I guess I need my hell like I need my Sabbath shore

      Till we meet again

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