New Life

So this is what it feels like when your slate is wiped clean. Funny, isn’t it? You now know the meaning of being careful what you wished for. It all worked out in your favor. Life is...clear now. You’re no longer waiting for a tragedy to swoop in, unbridling a hellish bludgeoning. You receive peace because you embody it. You are more than deserving. The clarity you shed tears for is here, right beside you. Take a deep breath and know this is your life now. You think about centering yourself as often as you used to help others before yourself. You think about warming your favorite cup of tea as much as you used to worry about warming up to those that despise you most. You delight yourself to the things that fulfill you most. As opposed to spoiling those that forgot your birthday for the third year in a row. You mention the beauty you see in the mirror as loud as you used to proclaim how much more you needed from those that forgot you. On purpose. It all had a purpose. To you, it was the last stab wound you could take. A death you relived in your wake and even more so at rest. To me, it was the best damn pain I’ve ever felt. Slightly masochistic? Maybe. But I do believe the price you pay for creating a numbing life is the death and transformation version of you that allowed this to happen. You’ll only reach this conclusion once you've taken responsibility, of course. In this new life, the sun beams and the moon glows just as it did before yet the view is one that you stop to look at. The gratitude fills the voids that were once aching. The breaths are deeper. You urn to fill your body with this new life source. The things that you once considered mundane are now the things you take joy from. Looking in the mirror with tears of joy swelling from eyes that once cried for the souls that neglected this joy most. I guess from all the dismissal, you retrieved yourself. I have a feeling that this time you’re never letting go.