A letter to you

Here's to you
Disarray of disappointment
A thread of let downs holding me in your grip
Wrapped around a throat so clenched, unspoken regrets ooze with every tear
You were a superhero
Center of my universe
All you could ever be in this moment is mundane and pathetic
I still couldn't hate you
Because I no longer have expectations with you
A reminder that I shield myself from
So I let my frustration wash over me
As the tides rise, my discontent cannot help but move along with it
What once suffocated me awoke me
I've seen this place before
Where a sickening pain dwells with you
And the affliction finds a home within you
The same void you've been desperately filling
Fallacies falling short
A wound encased so deeply that you no longer recall a time without it
I'm not waiting for you
Like the ocean, your pull and push on the shore will always be
Your crash and calm no longer suits me
I'm no longer drowning in you
Hell's rain parade no longer sheds from the eyes that held you with such revere
Done with drowning in you
It's time to run to me
Run to the home that's always been within me
A home that I seek solace within
I am now the endearment that I was seeking within you