Sometimes

Sometimes I scream in my head

Because the thoughts that bombard me are relentless

Should I…?

Could I…?

Why did I do that?

These thoughts I cannot claim as my own

Because sometimes they go dark

I don’t see myself within them

As if the intruder placed a veil over me

That’s when I am reminded that I am my own worst enemy

You could hurl verbiage that would cripple my soul and I still would always have the upper hand

I could perpetuate these thoughts far more than the next incessant adversary

I slumber in a realm where my sunsets could fall to bitter melancholia of what once was

Shivers down my spine

But then I remember who I am in the midst of the illusion

Dissipates before I could take on the next wound

Sometimes I hold my breath

As if I want a moment to remind myself that only I can bring myself to my width’s end

Better the devil you know

What if you wake up in its shell?